Author: Shanny the Granny

Bachelor Recap, Nick, Ep. 5: The Swamp Monster

My girl Becca from high school chorus class (#falconjazz) is the reason this week’s recap exists. Had it not been for her Venmo contribution to my caffeine fund, I am 99% sure you would not be reading this. My husband and I are godparenting another little puppy for a week, who thinks sleep is for squares, so we get to wake up with her every 2-3 hours throughout the night. Becca, your donation to my mental wellbeing while I piece together this fiasco of an episode on little to no sleep is beyond appreciated. Your generosity was way more...

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Bachelor Recap, Nick, Ep. 4: Abraham Lincoln Took Naps

Catherine P, you are a gift from heaven. I tried looking you up on Facebook to see if we have mutual friends, and my stalking skills failed me (perhaps for the first time in my entire life). So, whoever you are, thank you for the amazing Venmo money that will buy me at least 4 iced soy chai lattes, which carries us almost to Hometowns. Bachelor Nation doesn’t deserve you. [I’m not kidding when I say that you guys finding me on Venmo and sending caffeine/wine money to get me through the recaps truly is the light of my...

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Bachelor Recap, Nick, Ep. 3: Still Tastes Fine

Shout out to Morgan W. for sending me caffeine money on Venmo last Tuesday. I was dangerously close to pulling a Corinne and staying in bed instead of writing the recap, but that Venmo notification on my phone gave me the strength I needed to write about Nick cupping a 24-year-olds bare bosoms. You’re a real doll, Morgan. Thank you. [To my other readers, I’m still gladly accepting Starbucks money on Venmo in order to get through these recaps. No shame in my game.] I was really looking forward to the beginning of this week’s episode, because we were...

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Bachelor Recap, Nick, Ep. 2: Never a Bridesmaid

I almost forgot to watch The Bachelor last night because Snowpocalypse 2017 has brought upon such severe cabin fever that I barely remember my own name, much less what day it is, but thank god for Nick’s incessant self-advertisements on Instagram. Speaking of Instagram, I’m really into Becca and Robert’s relationship. Side note. [My new weekly disclaimer: I’m fairly certain that all most of the people on this show are smart, kind, wonderful human beings who’ve been lured into momentary insanity by editors, producers, and unlimited wine. I actually really like Nick, think the girls are all beautiful in their own ways,...

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Bachelor Recap, Nick, Ep. 1: Dolphins Are Just Gay Sharks

I have a couple of apologies to make right off the bat. First, to Taylor M., who sent me caffeine money on Venmo back in September, and I never thanked her. Taylor, I don’t know who you are or where you’re from, but THANK YOU. Your name has been in an email in my inbox as a reminder to thank you for the last four months, and I’ll miss seeing it every morning. Please forgive my tardiness. If you want to get a thank you four months later, as well, please feel free to find me, Shannon Leyko, on Venmo...

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