Remember THIS post when I told you I’m not a beauty product kind of person, but told you to check out 5 products that make me look reasonable enough to go in public?
Well, one of those products was a face moisturizer by Bioceutica, a nutritional vitamin, makeup, and skin care company run by what I can only assume are wizards. They even sent me an “elixir,” which is a word I’ve only heard in reference to mythology, mainly in the movie Tuck Everlasting. Which, if you haven’t seen it, is amazing.
But I’m getting both completely ahead of myself and entirely off topic.
You see, after I posted that little list of beauty products, one of the wizards at Bioceutica contacted me to see if I’d be interested in trying their new Reverse 20 Youth Restoration set. I was equally excited to receive free magic potion and horrified to realize I am old enough for a skin care company to see me as qualified for needing Youth Restoration. Life, where do you go?
I’m going to assume that they apparated the Reverse 20 to me, given how quickly it arrived on my doorstep following my exchange with the marketing wizard. Definitely too fast to have been transported by owl. The moment it arrived is the moment I started completely failing as a beauty blogger (which was to be expected since I’m a humor/essay blogger, but that’s just a detail, I guess). Let me remind you: I am not a product person. Knowing a magic potion for my face was sitting in that box was just too overwhelming for simple soul like me. So I stared at it for about a week.
To the marketing wizard: Please forgive my tardiness in writing this post.
But I have GREAT NEWS! Once I opened the box (actually my husband did it for me because he said I was being a jerk), I realized that it was easy. Like, really, really easy. Easy enough for a non-producty person like me to figure it out and complete the whole thing in only 20 minutes…which they advertise by calling it the “Reverse 20,” but I thought that only applied to how many years they say this formula will remove from your face. (I was fully expecting to look 8 years old by the end of it. That was pretty much the only let down of this experience.) Turns out, the “20” also refers to how much time it’ll take you to complete the regimen. Brilliant!
I knew this would yield high-end results just from the paper they used for my “thanks for doing this” note. It’s that glossy stuff that feels almost water repellent. The kind of paper you expect to see at the front desk of a celebrity rehabilitation center, or perhaps for your Hogwarts acceptance letter. [Disclaimer, I did not plan for this post to have such a magical theme.]
I started by taking a picture of my face before the treatment, because did you really do something if there are no photos?
Now, some people like to post “no makeup” selfies, but they *secretly* photoshop the crap out of it with those airbrush apps that make them look like creepy porcelain dolls that murder entire families in their sleep. Or they wear a little foundation and mascara hoping that no one will notice (we do, kids). My personal trick to posting a no makeup selfie without putting my husband’s reputation on the line for marrying me (JK that’s a bit dramatic) is to forgo all the apps and simply pose with a puppy. No one will notice that small blotch of pimples on my forehead if there’s a puppy next to my face, right?! Wayyyyy better than photoshop. Take note, everyone:
Anyhoo, Bioceutica’s Reverse 20 treatment is a 3 step process (not including taking pictures). Step 1 was to open the pretty little jar of exfoliator and apply it to my clean, dry face. My primary experiences with exfoliators have been during pedicures, and in the showers of my friends’ houses when I steal a little of their fancy body scrubs. Most of the time, it feels like I’m rubbing sand onto my skin, which is a feeling 0% of the human population enjoys.
The Reverse 20 exfoliator was so much less irritating that I actually felt compelled to read the ingredients. (Listen, if you want an honest review, you’re getting one. I only read ingredients on my dog’s food bag– not even my own food. Much less skin care stuff.) Guess what?? This stuff is made with glacial water. I just visited Alaska this summer, so I can say with certainty that if there’s one natural liquid that seems downright magical, it’s freakin’ glacial water. Unclear why it makes the exfoliator hurt less, but I’m not looking for answers here. Only results.
Step 2 was easily the most exciting part because I couldn’t wait to send a picture of a jelly mask on my face to my husband while he was at work. The mask requires peeling paper off each side of the jelly, which sounded pretty much impossible when I read the instructions, but wasn’t too hard after all– even for someone with the shortest fingernails of all time.
You can see my dog getting less and less entertained as these 20 minutes went on.
The jelly mask was cool to the touch and easy to breathe through, much like my favorite pillow. When I peeled it off, the perfect amount of moisture remained for me to rub into my skin. I’ve done like, 2 masks in my life before this one, and they always leave my face feeling tight as I open my eyes and mouth really wide to stretch the skin back out. This one required no such facial deformities to feel normal, which I call a win.
The final step, Step 3, was to apply the elixir
of life. This gel-looking moisturizer was every bit as mystical as I’d hoped, soaking into my skin perfectly and making it look and feel super soft. I’ve been using it every morning and night since, and can totally see the crows feet next to my eyes start to soften, as well as the thin skin beneath my eyes begin to firm.
This is what the whole Reverse 20 set did after just one use:
Noma was O-V-E-R IT. But look!! Doesn’t my skin look so clean and fresh? I would take a picture right now to show you what it looks like after a few weeks, but if I’m being honest, I didn’t take off my eyeliner last night, so I look absolutely terrifying. How about a picture from a few days ago? That’ll do. You can really see how the crows feet have lightened and how much more even my skin looks. [Please ignore the puppy that I shamelessly brought into a winery and let sleep on the table…I swear she wanted her head like that.]
Even with an ugly orange wall, Bioceutica managed to make me look pretty darn good, if I do say so myself. For the record, I’m also wearing a little of their foundation in this pic, along with their mascara and some of their black eyeshadow dabbed on as eyeliner. (They have an awesome brush that makes shadow-liner really easy.) All they need to invent is the perfect wine-teeth stain remover, and I’d be good to go!
Listen, aging is part of life, and that’s okay. But given the choice, we’d all be wrinkle free with even skin. So why not make it happen with some fun magical elixir? I wouldn’t have written this review if I didn’t think this stuff was entirely worth it, so #treatyoself. Better yet, treat your mom or your aunt. It’s Christmastime, after all. And what better gift to give than the fountain of youth?? I promise you, everyone will love it.
A few last things I want to point out:
- It doesn’t have a potent smell, so it’s fine for people who get migraines
- The set comes with four face masks, which are used once a week for a month to yield the best results
- The daily elixir has easily lasted me a month, and I’d guess will last quite a while longer
- If you are younger than 38, have no fear, you will not regress back to your scary teenage years with the Reverse 20 (or in my case, I did not come out looking 8 years old)
- This is way cheaper than even a one-time spa treatment, so it’s a pretty rad deal for such obvious results
Merry Christmas and happy time traveling!