I enjoy being a girl.

being-a-girl

I love feeling pretty, having more clothing options than “shirt + pants,” and chatting for hours with my girlfriends. I like wearing heels (on occasion), ordering my food first, and understanding emotional complexities. Some of these trends, treatments, and characteristics may sound too stereotypical for your liking, but in a general sense, they tend to be associated with women– and I like it that way. Even the less traditionally feminine women of the world must enjoy the fact that our gender tends to delve into the relational part of life more willingly, leading to a depth of friendships and understanding of the world that I’d presume to say most men don’t foster (nor do they want/need to).

Be it biological appearance, fashion and beauty markets, personality traits, or positive social constructs like being offered a hand (of course there are the negative social constructs that affect women, too, not to mention some women view chivalry as offensive…but I’m dealing with my own definition of positive here on this blog), women have plenty of reasons to be glad we were born with two Xs. I mean, I’m sure glad I’m not a dude. Sitting crosslegged comfortably is the greatest.

There are, however, quite a few drawbacks of being a woman. (You may have heard of the women’s rights movement or the equal pay debacle…) I’m pretty lucky in that I haven’t faced many obstacles that many women do, but there’s one that none of us can escape: It’s freakin’ expensive to be female. Sure, a guy typically foots the bill on a date (though maybe not these days), but his day to day expenses don’t even compare to us ladies. Let me break it down for you by listing 10 things that make women’s lives more expensive than men’s:

1. Shampoo and conditioner

Guys use maybe a quarter of the shampoo of most women. To my pixie-sporting ladies out there, though you use less too, the difference is that you appreciate it. More than likely, you remember the days of long hair, so you put in your time. Men have absolutely no clue, unless they’re Dumbledore or Chris Hemsworth. Even still, guys with long hair some how always skip the second half of this expense: Conditioner. I’d venture to say that 50% of men don’t even know what conditioner does. Most women can’t live without it. And if you need the good stuff just to have a shot in hell at getting a brush through it (like this girl), you’re looking at a bottle that is 2-3x more expensive than the standard stuff.

2. Haircuts

Speaking of hair, why are women’s haircuts so much more expensive?? And bless the women who add some coloring into the mix. Have you noticed that it’s mostly skinny girls who die their hair? That’s because they have no money left to eat.

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3. “Feminine products”

Guys will never know how expensive this is. It’s not like we want to buy them, but it’s a staple of the monthly budget none-the-less. I cannot think of a male equivalent.

4. Shaving cream

The surface of a guy’s face is basically just one calf on a woman. I’m always running out of shaving cream and using shampoo for a week before I remember to buy more. Anyone else? And nice shampoo that I spent too much money on, at that.

5. Makeup

It’s so unnecessary, but most women feel much better with makeup on, thus it’s hardly less than a given. Meaning we have to buy it, plus all the makeup remover pads, plus the skin care products…and that doesn’t even touch on the sleep that we lose since we can’t simply roll out of bed, shower, and walk out of the door.

6. Lotion

I have literally never seen a man apply lotion, except if he has tattoos. WHY?

7. Shoes

A guy needs exactly 6 pairs of shoes to get by: Nice brown shoes, nice black shoes, summer and winter casual shoes, workout sneakers, and a pair of sandals. Even that is kind of a lot. Women, however, need 10 or more pairs: Neutral fancy heels, black fancy heels, black work pumps, summer casual shoes to match different outfits, workout sneakers, black boots, brown boots, fancy sandals in at least two styles, and casual sandals. There’s no such thing as fancy sandals for guys. They don’t need different colors to match different outfits, because black and brown go with everything, while women’s clothes get way more exciting, thus we must have more shoe options to match. Don’t get me wrong, I love fashion, but that means women’s shoe collection doubles the size of men’s.

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8. Bras

Name one body part a dude has to buy specific clothes for that a woman doesn’t. Plus there are different types and colors– regular, sports, strapless, black, and nude. All of which are 100% necessary.

9. Birth Control

If you’ve found a man who pays for your birth control (if that’s something you believe in…I know everybody has their thoughts on contraception), more power to you.

10. Midol

Let’s just really put it all out there. We have to manage pain, and it’s not free, mmk?

There’s more, but I’ll just stop it right there so that everyone doesn’t end up in a bad mood this morning. I just realized that 6 out of the 10 things on this list revolve around expectations for appearances, so I’m already annoyed.

broke