I’m one day late, but I still have to say Happy Birthday to Google!! Based on the doodle, it seems Google loves openly celebrating its own birthday, just as I do! I feel ya, Google!

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Google’s birthday deserves an entire post, not just a little mention, so that’s what I’m going to give it.

Without Google, how would I find out that the lyrics to Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats” actually say “dug my keys into his leather seat,” not “dug my keys into his legacy”? Without Google, how long would it take me to come up with a synonym for “ridiculous”? Without Google, how can I properly stalk new people who come into my life?

I Google at least 10 things a day, including but not limited to the best places to shop for off-the-shoulder dresses, how much I should feed a dog that only weighs 1.5 pounds, and pictures of the Miss Universe that Trump called fat in the 90s. I’ve learned that Zika can be transferred from men to women, but they haven’t figured out if it can be transferred from women to men. I’ve found delicious recipes and the calorie count of absolutely any food on the planet. I’ve even discovered the difference between a regular bow tie and a butterfly bow tie.

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Life is so much easier with the Googs! I barely remember a time before I could ask Google who my celebrity crushes are currently dating. And boy oh boy, 18 is a big number!! Right now, all the parents who gave birth in 1998 are wondering why their kids haven’t moved out yet, because we all know it’s a total myth that you are responsible for kids for 18 years. Nope, more like forever. But I’m getting off track. Let’s take a look at a few of the things that happened way back in 1998, Google’s birth year:

  • The Spice Girls won an AMA
  • Bill Clinton infamously said “I did not have sexual relations with that woman”
  • 18th Winter Olympics in Japan
  • Animal Kingdom opened at Disney World, Orlando
  • Seinfeld goes off the air
  • Sex and the City premiers
  • The Lion King won the Tony for Best New Musical
  • The 2nd Harry Potter book came out

These facts that I compiled really reveal my interests. Notice that I chose not to mention the Exxon-Mobile merge or a single fact about sports. Unless you count the Winter Olympics, I guess. Tara Lipinski for the win!

I would share with you all of the things that Google can do now that it’s an official adult, but COME ON you guys, it’s a website. It can’t go to war or buy cigarettes. Calm down.

Thank you, Google, for helping me graduate from college with honors, and figure out where Princeton, WV is on a map. Happy Belated Birthday, ya gem!

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