Alright, ladies, we need to have a talk.
No one likes being called “crazy,” right? Aaron knows that word is off limits, unless I’m deliriously happy and doing something weird, like singing everything I say in my best Liza Minelli voice or trying to do a headstand on his lap while he’s watching T.V. #marriage
“Crazy” should not be thrown around lightly, however. No, a woman isn’t crazy if she gets mad that a guy ghosted her. No, a woman isn’t crazy if she cries during a touching beer commercial. No, a woman isn’t crazy if she asks her boyfriend to let her know where he is.
Unfortunately, anytime women express negative emotions, society– made up of men and other women alike– likes to throw them in the crazy category. Most of the time, there’s a very good reason a woman goes “crazy.” She freaks out when her boyfriend doesn’t answer his phone? Probably because he has been ignoring her consistently, then assures her “nothing is wrong” when they talk…so she feels “crazy” for being worried. In all actuality, he probably really is going to dump her soon, but he is just too afraid to admit it to her.
I’m telling you, women’s instincts that make them feel “crazy” usually end up being spot on. It’s safe to assume that if a woman is mad, worried, sad, or generally emotional, there’s a very good reason for it. I’m a BIG believer in a woman’s intuition. And if intuition is not at play, she’s either not being treated well, has deep scars from her past, or really likes animals and can’t help but cry when she see cute ones on T.V. Women are generally quite sane, just fed up with a situation or overly invested in something/someone’s wellbeing.
But then there are the exceptions. The women that give all other women a bad name. The ones who really do act mentally insane, and claim that their behavior is warranted because “someone else made me be this way.” These women point to my reasoning above, and claim that being “crazy” is due to someone else (usually a guy) pushing them to their breaking point. Perhaps that’s true, but there are certain behavioral lines that should never be crossed, no matter how upset you get. Feel free to get mad, feel hurt, stand up for yourself, etc., but never should you do one of the following:
A) Tell a guy you have an STD just to get him to text you back
B) Try to break into someone’s house in the middle of the night
C) Leave multiple voicemails
D) Spy on someone from behind a column in a restaurant
E) Yell at the karaoke DJ for not having the correct version of your song
F) Post bitter pictures or statuses on social media that blatantly refer to someone you used to like and/or date
G) Eat spaghetti with your hands
H) Key someone’s car
The list could go on and on. Sadly, the things I’ve mentioned above are all real life stories of women who made some extremely questionable choices as a result of their emotions. These things are the reason that the word “crazy” gets strewn about so flippantly, which only makes everything way worse.
Like I said, it’s not crazy to feel hurt or confused, nor is it crazy to address the situation with the person causing the frustration. But at some point, you have to get a hold of your actions. If you need to take six months to come to terms with an emotional issue, then fine. That’s what friends are for. They will probably be super annoyed with your repetitive wining and crying, but if they’re good friends, they’ll stick it out. However, you have no business continuing to try to contact someone for six months who clearly has no interest in you. You have no business lashing out publicly. You have no business getting so drunk that you lose all motor skills and end up falling asleep at a bar.
Generally speaking, I give 18 to 23-year-olds a hall pass because their brains are still developing, but if you’re in your mid-twenties or over, pull it together. Cry, be angry, be honest, and all that, but have some self-respect. I do not blame you for getting emotional if someone reels you in and spits you out continuously. I do not blame you for sending someone a single text or single voicemail spelling out how you feel if someone won’t talk to you. Keyword: SINGLE. As in ONE (1). I do not blame you for crying when a love song comes on the radio. However, I DO blame you for all of those other things I listed.
Stop feeding this world more excuses to call women crazy just for being wired with higher emotions. That is not a weakness. That is a biological, beautiful part of womanhood. But I had to share some tough love in case any of you reading this have a voodoo doll of your ex or keep a butcher knife in your dashboard that is designated for slashing tires.
YOU are responsible for your actions. You may not be responsible for your emotions, but never forget that feelings and behavior are separate entities.