Sweet Valley High. Passport to Paris. Sister Sister.

What was the common thread among my adolescent obsessions?

TWINS.

If you never dreamed of being a twin when you were little, you never dreamed. All I wanted was to have a twin sister that could be used for entertainment purposes, like switching places at school, sharing clothes, and going on double dates with hot twin brothers.

I’m sure it’s occasionally difficult to form your own identity and exhausting to compete for the title of Dominant Twin, but those things don’t sound any worse than living in the shadow of your older sibling, or not being able to read another human’s mind. Obviously identical twins > fraternal twins, but either type is better than being all alone in the womb.

I don’t even have a good doppelganger. It’s so depressing. I’ve gotten Allison Williams from Girls, Kate Middleton from If You Don’t Know Then You Have Problems, and Professor Trelawney from Harry Potter, but absolutely none of them are even close to being accurate. Except for Professor Trelawney. (Check it out)

National Twin Day isn’t until August, but I had a dream last night that this week was National Twin Week, so I decided to roll with it as a blog post. I was pretty disappointed this morning when I Googled to find out that it’s not actually true. But it felt so real!! It also felt really real when I dreamt that someone was breaking into our bedroom the other night, as my husband knows by the fact that I woke up in a panic. He’s a good man for putting up with my antics.

Here are the top 8 perks of being a twin, coming from someone who isn’t one.

1. You automatically have a fun fact about yourself during icebreakers

Do you know how hard the rest of us have to think in order to come up with a single fun fact about ourselves? I’m literally trying right now, at this very moment, to think of one to share with you all, but I can’t. Fun fact: There is nothing fun to know about me. Twins can say “I’m a twin!” and everyone in the circle ooo’s and ahh’s without missing a beat. Wait wait wait, I’ve got one: Fun fact, I flew an airplane once. Yes, in the sky.

twins gif

2. You are immediately hotter to the opposite sex, simply because there are two of you

I don’t know why, but twins get an extra point or two on the hot scale, just because they’re twins. When I was 24, I went on a few dates with an identical twin who played on the NYU basketball team (with his twin brother). I met them both at the same time, and I was blown away by their good looks. When I went on a date with one without the other one around, I was like, “Meh. I think he needs to be multiplied by 2.”

bachelor twins gif

3. You know exactly how you look from behind

The rest of us will never get an accurate understanding of what we look like from behind. If you have an identical twin, you can just walk behind them and get the full picture of what you’re working with.

never looked better gif

4. Someone will always know if you’re in danger

Don’t twins have some crazy ability to sense when their twin is in peril? I would sleep so soundly knowing that my twin is constantly aware of my state of wellbeing. Instead, since no one knows how I’m doing, I insist on Aaron calling me every few hours to make sure I haven’t been kidnapped, or that I didn’t choke on my lunch. He knows that if I don’t answer or call back within two hours, he must come straight home and/or immediately start texting my friends until someone confirms my whereabouts. (I’m only half kidding.)

weasley twins

5. You have an excuse to get out of anything

“Sorry, my twin needed me.” No one is going to question that. Ever. That sounds way too ominous and personal. We non-twins don’t know what twins do together, and no one is brave enough to do that kind of digging.

tia tamera

6. You can take turns making poor choices

How would we look with short hair? You do it first! I had to test run the spray tan last week. Will this expensive new shampoo make our hair shinier? Try it out and let me know so I don’t have to spend money on it unless I know it works. Do you think we’ll like frog legs? Fine, fine, I’ll try them for us since you tried the wasabi ice cream last time. (Twins have the same taste buds, right? Is it offensive that I don’t know that? I just assume things taste the same to them.)

winklevoss

7. Someone always has your back

Best friends can be jerks in middle school. Older siblings can pick on you. Younger siblings can annoy you to death. Twins never fail. (At least in my mind.) You mess with one? You gotta mess with both.

mess with us twin gif

8. Your pictures always get a lot of likes

Non-twins are so fascinated by twins that we’ll always like your photo, even if it’s dumb. Two faces that look the same are too interesting to scroll by without acknowledgement. The closest I can get to this is using the “reflection” collage tool on Instagram, which makes it look like there are two of me. People seem to like those.

twin 1

Love clinking glasses with my twin! Cheers, love you!

Can’t wait to get some feedback from twins to see how much of this list is legit!