Last weekend, Aaron and I went to the movies, even though the sky was crashing down upon us.

Lightning literally struck the house across the street, and it was raining so hard that the streets began to flood. As we prepared to enter the madness from the safety my parents’ house, my father said we were oddly devoted to watching a movie.

Little did he know that it wasn’t about Ghostbusters. It was about the Loaded Pulled Pork BBQ Fries at Beach Bistro Movie Theatre. There’s nothing odd about a devotion to those, trust me.

rain

Throwing caution the wind while driving, we showed up with exactly 5 minutes to spare before the waiters announced Last Call for ordering food. Sure, we were soaking wet, but those fries were 100% worth it. So was Ghostbusters, actually. I thoroughly enjoyed the remake! I’m no movie critic, so don’t expect that I watched it with any sort of keen eye, but I was entertained the entire time, so that’s a good enough for me! Kate McKinnon was hands down my favorite cast member. She had me rolling the entire time.

Right in the middle of the final ghost battle, the movie theatre power went out. I was terrified, naturally. Thank goodness for the lady in the third row who shined her phone flashlight on the screen and began making shadow animals with her fingers. That soothed me nicely. Further evidence that I am a toddler.

The movie came back on after about 5 minutes of sitting in a pitch black theatre with strangers. Anxiety level: High.

Ghostbusters was good and the fries were great, but I just as thoroughly enjoyed a movie from home earlier in the week: Soul Surfer, the true story of Bethany Hamilton, a pro-surfer whose arm was bitten off by a shark when she was 13. I mentioned her a few weeks ago in my 5 Female Celebrities Who Rock podcast, so it only felt right that I watch the movie based on her life.

Sure, it’s one of those inspirational movies that kids have to watch at the end of the year in P.E. class, but I loved it. Not only is it a great story that made me cry a bit, but it nicely feeds my obsession-fear of sharks.

Remember THIS POST when I shared with the world why I’m so afraid of sharks? (It includes me being bit by a dolphin on vacation…definitely worth the read.) Well, today, I’m getting back on the shark-blogging train, because it’s summer and I live at the beach, so sharks take up 25% of my thoughts. And that’s even on days when I’m not watching movies about shark attacks.

People often say they’d rather fight a shark than a bear, which is a weird thing to say, but fine. I’m here to dispute their logic, and give my reasoning for taking on a bear ANY day over a shark.

I suggest reading bullet points back and forth, starting with the first bullet point under “bear”, then reading the first bullet point under “shark”, and so on.

 

FIGHTING A BEAR
bear
– Bears are land-dwelling animals, and so are humans. An even playing field.

– Their mouths are smaller, so it’d take more than just one bite to dismember and eat me.

– You can hear a bear coming, so you have time to prepare.

– Bears don’t bring friends.

– Bear safety is way easier to learn. All you have to do is make yourself look big, make loud noises, and scare them away before they even get to you.

– Some bears have become friends with humans in the past, so you know they have a friendly, cuddly side. Maybe all they want to do is playfully wrestle.

– Bears are fat, so I think they’d get kinda lazy if you dragged out the chase long enough.

– If you are going to die via bear claws, at least you know how you’re going to die.

– Bears are cute

FIGHTING A SHARKms7 Great White Shark Carcharodon carcharias South Africa Atlantic Ocean Photo Copyright Brandon Cole...A9DT1B ms7 Great White Shark Carcharodon carcharias South Africa Atlantic Ocean Photo Copyright Brandon Cole

– Sharks are way better at swimming than I am, which gives them an undeniable advantage.

– Sharks’ mouths take up like, 1/3 of their entire body. One bite and you’re done.

– Sharks pop up out of nowhere.

– Once you start bleeding in the ocean, other sharks are likely to join the dinner party.

– Sharks don’t care how loud you yell. You’re supposed to stab them in the eyeballs. That’s gross, and in what world do you think I’ll be able to find their eyes during all of the thrashing?

– Sharks are slimy and gross and no human has ever trained one to give them a hug.

– Sharks are kind of ADD, not lazy, but still. I’d reckon they have more stamina.

– Not only are you going to die from the shark eating you, but you could also drown.

– Sharks are ugly