I feel like this will be a strange 4th of July given the current state of our country’s political arena, but I have no doubt that people will put their concerns aside and dress in the most ridiculous red, white, and blue getup they can find. Gotta keep that social media presence looking fun and trendy, after all!
Speaking of the current political mess, I thought it’d be nice to help everyone remember why the USA is still a pretty rad place to live. I know, I know, it has a few [major] issues at the moment, but let’s focus on the following– at least for the weekend!
1. Grilling out
I’m sure people in other countries “grill out,” but nobody does it quite like Americans. We get to claim burgers and hot dogs as our own. Maybe that’s not as exciting as claiming pizza or pad thai, but hey! What’s so wrong with red meat and cheese between bread? Heart attacks? Meh. NBD. Seriously, though, the act of grilling out bands us together with that old school, neighborhood block party kind of patriotism, and it’s awesome.
2. Solo cups
Maybe I just haven’t spent enough time in other countries, but solo cups feel outright American, no? Flip Cup HAS to be rooted in America. Wait a sec…Googling right now. YEP! Founded in Hoboken, New Jersey of all places. In 1987. Guess our parents didn’t get to enjoy this particular fratty past time.
Solo cups are not only fun for drinking games, but they are the one way to feel unified with the police. No open alcohol rules only apply to cans of beer or bottles of wine. Throw your beverage of choice in a solo cup, and the policeman driving a Gator through the sand on the beach will just give you a thumbs up and keep going. It’s like some unspoken agreement that solo cups are equal to invisibility cloaks. They’re simply magical!
3. Taylor Swift and Lin-Manuel Miranda
Guys, we get to claim the writer of Shake it Off and the creator Hamilton. Both equally profound musical contributions to this world, obviously. GOD BLESS AMERICA!
4. Cowboy hats
Nobody looks bad in a cowboy hat. You either look hot, like a fun party person, or like a hot, fun party person. The downside is that unless you live in Texas, it’s weird to wear one. But that’s what the 4th of July is for! Bust out those distinctly American wardrobe choices. You know, the choices SO American that only Texans are American enough to pull them off year round. Oh, Texans. Always on another level.
5. The Bachelorette
Wait, what, I’m plugging The Bachelorette so that you’ll read my episode recaps? Never! But how perfect is it that there’s an episode of The Bachelorette airing directly on the 4th of July this year? What could we possibly appreciate more in America than mindless television shows about hot people finding
fame love? On Saturday, July 2nd, you’ll find me on the beach with my solo cup, eating my burger, listening to Taylor Swift and the Hamilton soundtrack while sporting my stars and stripes cowboy hat I got in Nashville. But July 4th? The main event? I’ll be watching JoJo send Alex and James Taylor home, because obviously that’s what she’s going to do next.
[UPDATE, 11:45 a.m.: Apparently I’m a terrible Bachelor blogger because I didn’t know that there’s no new episode this Monday. I still stand my claim that The Bachelorette is super American, though.]
In all seriousness, I do love our country. Despite some interesting candidates, and despite some horrible happenings, I am proud to be an American. Happy Early Independence Day, everybody!