Everyone is weird. Do you know how I know that? Because of what pops up in Google searches. I’m here today to address a few of the questions I ran across that really seem to be plaguing the minds of Americans:


To be an American: Pretend to Watch football, crave Chick-fil-a on Sundays, and gobble up sensationalized news.

When your nose itches: Someone is thinking of you and/or dust has landed on your nose.

To be in love: LOLOL how would I know?


First three are boring, pass.

Biggest bra size: I seriously wonder about this nearly every day. Where do the letters stop? I’ve heard of triple H’s. Any I’s out there? I want to know.


Sorry for the cursor on the screen. I know that’s going to drive you crazy.

Let’s take a moment to look at America’s priorities.


Eye twitching: Good luck with that.

Internet slow: Oh, the irony of using Google to answer this question.

Period late: Proof that every girl out there thinks she is pregnant 1/4 of every year.

Poop green: This is apparently a relatively common issue..?


Daddy long legs/dogs: Boring, pass.

Dragons real: Such a muggle question.

Doritos gluten free: “Quick! Find out if I can eat these!” says the basic girl drunk on wine with late night munchies.

*This search ↑ “are d…” proved so interesting that the rest of the searches are snippets from using the same search format with every letter of the alphabet


Jews will always prove to be the most mysterious people on the planet.

Also, jeans are not business casual, you lazy millennials.


How is it possible that this is the first question that popped up? You guys are such freaks.


Unicorns and dragons…someone forgot to teach this generation what “fiction” means.

UFOs ≠ aliens

Question #3 confirms how basic our country has become.

Question #4 is from the same people who asked if jeans are business casual.


Ignore 1-3

Are zebras white with black stripes?


Keep being weird, America.